Apie vafliuką

All of my life i have been that girl who always hangs out with boys. For that reason i have met a lot of different guys. There is some of my or my friends‘ ex boyfriends or just boys that for some time were my friends. But like girls the same is bith guys they are somewhat basic.

Probably the most common is ‘‘the unfainthful one‘‘. This one is the soul of a party, the most outgoing and friendly. He is a ladys man as he might tought. But he has some sort of charm. He is not very handsome or very rich to be popular like that but there is some chemistry and you just can‘t get away without talking to him and be interesed.

He changes girlfriends as often as socks but there is only one side chick. Me. I am not just a friend for sex because we do not do that but he ignores his girlfriend when beeing with me. It is so simple to talk to him and be open . i think we know each other for a long time because we can understand each other from one word and he understands me like no one does. And i am just a girl with no self love and the girl who thinks that she is not worthy of love so i just became his safety net from shitty life. There was a lot of times when we were sitting together and most of the time watching our favorite show ‘‘ Catfish‘‘ he gets a message form his girlfriend an he just shuts phone of. Ofcourse this behaviour gave me a ton of false hopes but that thing when he changes his girlfriend to another girl and not chosing me for that place makes me realise that i am not good for that.

There was times that i wanted to be his but i know that if he cheated with me he will cheat on me. One day when i knew that i had no feelings for him anymore i asked him truthfuly.

‘‘ Why i am always the other one?‘‘ I said slowly picking my words.

‘‘ You ask like why we do not go out ?‘‘ He obviously plays dumb.

‘‘ No i want to know why i am your friend with benefits but never girlfriend. I am not good enough?‘‘

‘‘ I dont want you to be the girl... you know... like my other exes. I love you and i like beeing with you but i can‘t play cool or be friends with my exes so I dont want to ruin our relationship.‘‘ He said it with pain and sadness in his voice.

Then i already knew the answer to my question and gave up. He only wants adventures and not love. If he knows how to love.. i now see how shalow and dumb he is without that crush on him i see clearly and can be smart for my own happiness. I dont want to answer his texts. I am living for myself now.